by the time i got up this morning

i didn’t feel for him

i tried to coax the lust back with photos

but that just made me feel even lonelier 

we were those people who couldn’t smile in photos

before last night, 

everything he did was a poem

all his colors, visually rich

we’ll keep in touch, won’t we?

proximity friends —

is that a thing? 

portra 400 w leica m6

i stole this recipe

i stole this recipe from a guy i dated who made it for me after i told him how much i loved this curry. since then, i've been making it for anyone and everyone and am always asked to make it again and again.  it's my signature dish.  

the irony is that i was called out on it a few months ago and remembered it wasn't my recipe to begin with.  and i spelled farro wrong

i found this shopping list in a book i failed to finish cause i haven't read a book pass page 40 in over a year.  i used to love finishing things -- i've lost so much discipline 

at the expense of the american dream

The flight home was more unbearable this time around.  

Enveloped in a generous amount of loneliness; he left the airport to find his driver 
waiting patiently outside.

“Where now, Sir?” 

“Just take me home.”

The drive was quiet.  There was a static in the air, for we know the season was about to change.  
This was his favorite time of the year; the grass was just a shade greener.  

“Would it be alright if we take the long way home?”

The driver switched courses immediately, he also had no place to be and could use the time as well.  

They drove between gorgeous green meadows with blooming buds and took this time to 
reflect upon their previous months.  

They drove for about 15 minutes when the gentleman noticed a man eating grass in the meadow.

“Stop the car!”, he demanded. 

He rolled down his window to shout, “Excuse me Sir, why are you eating grass?” 

“I don’t have money for food”, the grass-eater explains. 

Without hesitation, the gentleman says, “Come with me, I will provide you with 
all the food you will ever need.” 

“I can’t come with you”, the grass-eater says, “I’ve got a wife and two kids at home.” 

“Do they eat grass as well?” 

“Yes, it’s all we’ve got.” 

“Well”, the gentleman thought for a moment, 
“Bring them along with us.  I will provide for your family.” 

And so they made their way to the estate.  

The gentleman had been away for so long, he was a bit embarrassed 
for the mess they might come home to.  

As he expected, the front yard hadn’t been manicured; trees and bushes, unkempt.  
The lawn had overgrown tremendously.  

“This should be enough food for everyone.”

it's crazy how i have so many friends and am constantly going -- and yet i am so burnt out and foggy

an eye for an ear

for a while there i thought 

you’d remain the star of my dreams

i can still remember, 

with complete clarity, 

the way i felt

all i remember is how much fun i had

thank fucking god

i thought if i had wanted it enough, 

it would happen 

this time around, 

i’ll be less transparent

i promise to protect my heart

but i’m so grateful i’m still willing

where would we be if we couldn’t blog our thoughts 

favorites

tchochkes 
1-Chevy Nomad toy car
2-Wooden Sculpture (head in ass)
3-Ceramic tit
4-Carl Aubock brass foot 
5-Robert Maxwell critter
6-Mold of hand
7-Ceramic failure (glazed)

1-Fisher Price kid tough
2-Yashica electro 35
3-Canon R800
4-Fujifilm x100F
5-Leica M6
6-Contax T

reads
1-Cinema-Persona
2-Grow with your plants
3-Who is sleeping on my pillow
4-Anatomy of contemporary furniture 
5-After dark 
6-LE GUN 1,2,3
7-The cooks’ catalog

i took half an edible and it got me thinking a lot about what my dad said this past weekend.  really bummed me out so i thought of what i could do to keep my mind occupied so i started taking photos of things around my apartment (all while rehearsing comebacks for everything he had said).  i wish i was better at standing up for myself.

fujifilm x100f w lee