4.12.2010

therapy car noise.

This use to be a regular habit. Sometimes I feel as though its the only therapy I understand. I just pick one direction and drive until I run out of gas, then hit the pavement and walk as far as I can. When I feel lost, I simply turn around. I've always found my way back. I thought it was the best way to clear my head.

You know, when you're trying to clear your head, sometimes, you're so consumed in your own thoughts that they eventually take over and send you away. They'll come together and you just have to settle with what you've come to realize. I haven't had the chance to do this in a long time and today was the perfect day. I hadn't made any plans, just filled up my tank, and it's perfectly gloomy outside. Let's go.

"You seem a bit rushed."

I'm not, its been so long since I've done this. I'm just a bit nervous. So I kept driving further and further up North until nothing looks familiar. Listening to the same album the entire time so my thoughts don't wander off. Few things are held constant, this is one.

"Nothing looks familiar. I think you're lost."

I am not lost. I'm driving up North. There's no way I can get lost. I can always turn around and I choose not to.

"Your tank is getting kinda low, you need to pull over."

So I did. And I started walking. Listening to the same album on my iPod to continue the consistency. Remember, few things are held constant. So I continued walking, until I got too tired to walk any further.

Then I turned around. Can't remember the last time my mind was this calm. Neither melancholy or complete bliss, just content.

This will become a regular habit. Holding everything else constant.

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