More and more it feels my fears are becoming realistic. That tendency to wake myself from nightmares of being rejected by the people I love the most, well it's happening on a nightly basis.

I’ve become increasingly reluctant to drift off again for the fear of how plausible my situation is.  I believe my thoughts are preparing me for what's coming.

Which is worse; fear of sleep or fear of rejection? A penny for your thoughts. 

I’d like to leave on a positive note, but I have nothing encouraging for you, so I’ll part with two negatives. Simple math.

First, lack of sleep is affecting how I react to the people I truly care about, but I’m too droned to even consider progressing a solution.  I'm deeply sorry.

And second, once again, I’m running out of things to do to keep myself occupied in order to distance myself from my thoughts; what a terrible place to end.

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