Lesson No.3

When it comes to relationships, which of the following is true:
a) A person is not complete without their soul mate, therefore those who aren’t in stable relationships should always continue searching.
b) You cannot be happy in a relationship until you’ve learned to love yourself.
c) Relationships only work if you are always growing.  If you’ve learned all you could from another, it’s time to move on.
d) None of the above.

For most people, it starts out the same way; you fall in love with the first cute person you meet.  With no substance in this relationship, you fight through it because they are the best thing that has ever happened to you.  So you remind yourself this every time things got a touch too difficult.  Then you hit that two-year mark in which you decide whether or not to continue.

This is where I went wrong. 

We all knew where it was heading but I kept trying to convince myself that it’s worth the investment.  So I took what I could learn from him and moved on 4 years later.  I don’t believe it was waste of time; however, his part may be slightly altered.

For most people, this is the time to “find themselves”; I definitely recommend this.   You will never feel more insecure in your life, never more anxious, never more frightened, and certainly never more alone.

This is where I went wrong.  

I immediately fell in love with the next cute guy I met.  Of course, this shall pass when loyalty is in check.  Doesn’t matter, we had nothing worth fighting for anyway.

For most people, this is the time they do something for themselves; like travel somewhere, change their major in college, get a drastic haircut, etc. 

This is where I went wrong. 

I went with the wrong haircut.  Never have I felt so unattractive, so in order to combat this self-destructive tendency, I went out with every single guy I met just so I wouldn’t have to be alone. 

I thought I was happy until I met someone who was going through the exact same state.  It’s a frightening thing when you see yourself in someone else. 

For most people, this is the time they make the decision to work with this person so they wouldn’t have to face their self-destructive tendencies alone. 

This is where I went wrong. 

No, no, I did become close with this person, but for a touch too long.  And when put yourself through three years of this foggy mess, the umbrage you’ve been harboring for that period of time will eventually stare you in the face and everything you’ve been through, everything you’ve built, every single thing you cared about will matter no more.

For most people, this is the time they leave everything they know without a farewell, they start over and built new relationships, but most importantly, their relationship with themselves.  Perhaps find someone special, hope to hell it works out. 

This is where I went wrong. 

I’m still here, waiting patiently for something to change, as if everything is out of my control.  Still being let down by the people I care about the least, and letting down the people I care about the most.  When things got too familiar, I tried my best to forget. 

For most people, this is the time they take what they have learned throughout those years and plug in their own theorems, equations, and formulas for now what they know will solve most of their problems.


And I studied for this test. 


Aimless Dreamer said...

I imagine after writing all of this down, you know exactly what you're supposed to do. Don't you just hate it when you don't listen to yourself even when you know you're right? For that multiple choice problem, I must add on to "a". Some think that a relationship is composed of two halves, as in a 50/50 thing, but I believe that in order for a relationship to be "complete", it must be composed of two complete people, which goes along with your answer choice B. In other words, you and whoever your "soulmate" is must learn to love yourself and feel totally secure as an independent before being involved with someone else.

Ha, here I am sounding like a relationship expert. Anyway, all of this, whatever it is, shall pass.

Christina said...

loving your writting christine,keep it up :)

J Bean said...

Time heals all wounds. In two months, you won't feel the same way about the situation as you do now. That's a beautiful thing. In 6 months, you won't feel the same way that you did at two months. It will always sting a little, even at two months..and six months.. and years from now, but despite the sting, he will no longer be of your concern.

In the meantime, do the things you like to do, treat yourself well, learn to be alone and find a way to be happy alone. When it is the right person, it should be easy because you both will want the same things. And when that time finally comes, the sting of this will go away.

Keep your beauty posts coming! I love those.

Lily said...

Relationships suck. Seriously too much grey area to distinguish between the good and the bad and then everything just blurs together into that messy hub-bub called love. So messy but so desired! Relationships baffle me a lot sometimes.