Sometimes I forget my purpose.

Some days start out better than others; today wasn’t one of those days.

No, no, you’re right; it’ll start out like any other day.  Your alarm goes off, you'll hit snooze.  It’ll go off again, but you haven’t fallen back asleep, you’re just waiting for your thoughts to gather.  This shall pass so you'll reach for your phone to see where you are. 

0 missed calls, 3 text messages, and 4 emails.  This is where your day starts; disappointing the people you care about the most, and let down by the people you care the least. 

You’ll roll out of bed, feed your cat, and use a heavy hand applying your war paint.  Doing so, you’re already slightly too late to get off on a good foot.  Doesn’t matter, no one’s waiting for you anyway. 

With this in mind, you'll make your way to the furthest coffee shop, put in your same order (medium redeye) and step outside for a drag.  You'll mention the perfect weather to your barista, but what for?  You’ll remain cooped up inside all day anyway.  And so you'll part with stale librettos and find yourself across the way.

 

You'll arrive to work and reluctantly open your laptop for you know as soon as the Wifi kicks in, you’re doomed to answer email after email after email.  But you'll do so anyway for these things accumulate quickly. 

And then you'll come across an email your sister sends you…you know, those ones with the cheesy life lesson quotes at the end, after the signature.  You’ll never understand why she attaches these to all her emails, but you’ll read it anyway because it’s there and an email is not through unless you’ve read every last word.  Maybe today you’ll learn something.  Most days, these quotes just lower your serotonin level.

“No day but today!”

But then again, there’s always tomorrow.

“Today is the first day of the rest of your life!”

Fuck.

And need you mention her new favorite:

“Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.”

This will hit you a touch too hard because your anxiety has been pushing you towards this direction. 

In any case, this is just a quote.  So you'll remind yourself of this thought throughout the day and begin signing off with your own personal favorite:

"I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore!"

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You’ll spend a good portion of the day replaying the film you experienced the night before (the one below this post). 

And you’ll continue all of the above as usual, day after day.  For the remainder of your exsistence.

As you were.