Deviled Eggs | My Way

Ain't a chance you goddamn assholes gettin' me to make the same 'ol mothafuckin' deviled eggs again.  I hate that nasty ass shit.  Imma do things my way fo' once.  Listen up, bitches n' hoes.

Fuck mayo.  

Here wut I be usin':

6 minute eggs (soft boiled)

Salt (or Lemon Pepper Salt if I'm feeling zesty)

Pepper (Peugeot or die)

Mustard (whole grain)

Paprika (I mean, sometimes I use Cayenne)

Dill Weed (instead of relish)

Cheese (I'm using this artificial Swiss cheese I grew up on; nostalgia beats taste)

Basil (or any herbs you like, I don't give a fuck.  I just happened to have this around)

The secret to the perfect soft boiled egg (my opinion of the perfect soft boiled egg) is to let the egg sit out at room temp for at least 30 minutes.  I like to wait an hour.  Then I slowly submerge into a simmering bath and time it for exactly 6 minutes.  Make yo'selves a fuckin cocktail, assholes.

Then I shock them mothafuckas in an ice cold bath.  Word.

Then patiently add all them embellishments.  Dash of salt, pepper, dill weed, paprika.  Little dollop of mustard and a piece of that cheese to add a touch of rich, creamy smoothness. 

Roll the basil up in a tight blunt and chiffonade into thin slices.  Garish with delight.

Them mothafuckas done.

Dayum!

*my take on ThugKitchen.