the last thing i can remember from my therapist
before we parted ways was that she told me to start meditating.
she gave me some pointers but nothing i retained.
"this will quiet the voices in your head"
every time i try to meditate, i fall asleep.
does smoking count as meditation if
it offers me a chance to step outside myself
and focus on my breathing?
a helicopter woke me up from
my deep meditation and there were
5 or so dead ants on my picnic blanket.
not very namaste IMO
an ounce of guilt rushed over me
when i rolled over to check my email.
five pounds of anxiety when
i saw my phone was on 5%.
am i doing this right?
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