8.02.2019

i've been having the most vivid dreams the past couple nights and i think it has something to do with the amount of anxiety i feel thought out the day -- gonna try and not smoke, drink, or drink coffee for a bit and see how that goes.

this reoccurring dream bums me out cause i've been thinking about going back to school to get my masters.  i just really want to go back to school cause i know i'm so fortunate to have the time for it.  in this dream, the semester is already more than half way complete but i've been traveling for works so i'm so far behind.  i have a binder of all my coursework and a map of where to go but i have no idea how to get to my lecture and a locker i can't remember the combination for.  i'm just fumbling around campus trying to find a counselor to guide me -- it's like i'm in high school but worse cause i wanted so badly to be there but i'm terribly unprepared.

the dream i had last night is the first i can remember but i knew the apocalypse was coming and i'm driving on the freeway when all these cars start to crash and people start disappearing one by one.  i drive off to the side of the freeway and pull over and a few people are getting out of their cars wondering what's going on and all i can think is "damn, i should've prepped that emergency earthquake kit when i saw that conan special".  i see adrian get out of a tour bus with his tribe and they tell me to jump in but as i'm walking over this crew swearing all white, holding hands, smiling walk up to us while chanting and everyone is paralyzed.  they kill everyone in their path but for whatever reason, adrian's magic bus is the only vehicle moving through the path so i hop in and they drove off to a compound where everyone already knew what was coming and was prepared with food rations and housing.  i felt i didn't belong but possessed this hidden karate knowledge that everyone wanted to learn so i start teaching a course cause i felt i owed it to them.

the fuck

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