8.28.2008

travel sacrifices.

When we were younger, my mom use to go on trips alone for business or just to get away from our family. She doesn't do that anymore. I never really put that much thought into it but now I think I know why.

When I was ten I asked my mom how long she was away in Europe with my aunts for. She said around ten days, and then quickly said she was there for under a week. My mom went on that trip when I was around four. I remember thinking it felt like months. Looking back on it now, it still felt like months. After she told me it was only less than a week, I was completely in disbelief.

I told her how my sisters and I waited for her to come home and how it felt like forever. I told her how I missed her so much that I took a blouse from her closet, sprayed her perfume on it, and slept next to it to substitute for that fact that she wasn't really there. I didn't say this in a harsh tone. I didn't say this to hurt her. I said this because I was completely in disbelief that she was only gone for less than a week.

After I told my mom this, her voice was weak and she started to tear. She said, "If I had known this, I would've never left".

Since then she's never traveled alone. Whenever she gets travel tickets from work, she gives them to us.

Mom, I am so selfish. I know you made a lot of sacrifices. I'm sorry if I made you feel guilty. I know how much you love to travel. I'm sorry you never travel alone anymore.

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