recipe for disaster.

Davis visits his grandparent's home every Thanksgiving to have dinner with his entire family (you know; cousins, aunts, uncles, family pets, etc).

His grand-mom makes the best baked-beans. I've been informed this on numerous occasions.

For 18 years, Davis looked forward to Thanksgiving because he can finally satisfy that craving he had built up throughout the year.

When that moment comes, Davis treasures every second.

He doesn't just "treasure" every second; he exploits it. He drowns his plate with that magical fruit and comes back for more.

He fills his stomach to the point where he's adrift in a food-coma, then takes a quick nap, and comes back to recharge his plate.

For 18 years, Davis looked forward to that moment.

For 18 years, Davis never thought about asking his grand-mom for the recipe.

No one in his family ever thought about asking.

Everyone just waited the entire year for that moment.

And then Davis invited me to Thanksgiving dinner.

Little did he know, I was going to distort this image.

They asked me to say grace. That didn't go so well. David Ray McClelland the First took over.

Dinner was brought out. I had everything laid out in front of me. Everyone started eating.

And then there was an awkward silence. But was it so awkward? Everyone was eating.

"So, how do you make your baked beans?"

Suddenly, all eyes glared at me as if I had just said "Mother fucking cunt!" at the dinner table in The Last Supper.


What was I thinking? It wasn't an awkward silence. Why did I interrupt?

I was just trying to make small-talk. Should I have not asked that? I thought it was a compliment. Why is everyone glaring at me? Is there food on my face? Fuck. What should I do? Should I change the subject? Pretend it never happened? Pretend I was kidding? Excuse myself to use the washroom? Powder my nose? What time is it? White people scare me.

But Davis' grand-mom didn't seem offended.

In fact, I think she was flabbergasted that someone finally asked her that question.

She just grinned and replied, "I just heat up some Bush's Baked Beans a long with some bacon bits.

The look on Davis' face.

It was like I ran over his precious cat.



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